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breddie_sucks
I fapped too hard on Gman x Samuel Jackson porn that I contracted testicular torsion now. Now I am snorting ground Skittles with Benadryl and got myself the first place in Domestic Terrorism radar of FBI.
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Wenis123
Some day, I would like to sit on my back porch with the first twelve people who like this status with a glass of Pepsi, sweet tea, coke, coffee, Bourbon , Wine , Water or whatever drink you may like. Maybe Even Have A Cigar …And as friends we can brag and tell lies to each other … All you have to do is like this status and put the same text on your profile page. Curious who my first twelve porch friends would be! (Those who do not paste it themselves will not be counted in the 12.)
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Wenis123
Alvin and the other chipmunks set up their home. I forcefully put them into a plastic container, and closed the lid hard, as I walked again to the kitchen and to the deep fryer. I opened the container up, grabbing the blue one with glasses who I forgot the name of. I jammed him into the batter, making it hard for him to breath as the eggs went in and out of his mouth, before chucking him into the deep fryer. His screams were muffled as his lungs were filled with burning hot oil, and the other chipmunks could only watch in horror as his skin became crisp.
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J_azer
Whilst I was distracted, the pink bratty one jumped at my face, all I could attempt was to pull her away as she caused major detriment to my vision. Luckily, I had lived in my house for years so I knew the layout well, I grabbed a frying pan and managed to knock her off and send her soaring to my left. Using my self taught echolocation, I pinpointed where her dying body had landed and proceeded to stuff my homemade concoction of salt, alcohol and citrus juice into her open wounds. With all her corpuscles in excruciating pain and the damage she had sustained to her legs and arms she was crippled and would suffer chronic pain for the rest of her life (if she survived much longer).
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Wenis123
Alvin could only see his 2 dead brothers, before I went after him next. He tried to run away, but being a chipmunk could only bring him so far. I easily caught up to him and grabbed him, before putting a funnel into his mouth and pouring some batter into his gullet. He gulped it down, struggling to breath, as I dipped him fully into the full batter bowl. After in which, he began to scream. "Noooooo!!! Don't do this to me!!!!" I slowly put him into the fryer, legs first. He began to struggle, as he slowly went deeper into the oil, his legs burning and crisping up. Eventually, the batter made him too slippery, and he fell right in. His screams were the loudest, but were slowly drowned out. Alvin was no more, and so were the other chipmunks. As I put Alvin's crisp body into the container, I loaded all the tender and juicy morsel onto a plate, before pouring my choice condiments onto them, and eating them.
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jediwarlock1
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a rat, she was one-years-old and she lived in a cage, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the other rats in the cage so the government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special cage to kill her, as humane as possible but the machine they were using went wrong. And she then she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by biting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other people, and she will haunt someone else who doesn’t. This isn’t fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow.
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